Carbon-dating
Don't get me wrong, I never was born hating love. No one was born resenting love. Humans were born dreaming of the arrival of 'the first love' or even just the 'deflower' but the highest guest of honor, 'The One'. But I am not to speak in behalf of anyone, should I? So, atleast what I stated is true to my own fantasy.
Love isn't at all foreign to me. I started young. Before graduating gradeschool, I felt it. As expected, it didn't last long. I was pursued again during highschool and it lasted longer than the first one --an almost four years of my puberty. and after that, nothing ever lasted. Loneliness never stayed long in my heart after a break-up. A replacement is just on stand by. Though I love, I was hardly lonely but I never was truly satisfied.
It takes years to understand love and it takes a little bit of everything to get through it. I thought, I should find out myself. I've been foolish. I've been harsh. I've been jealous. I've been insecure. I've been careless. I've felt all that and more in seek of love yet I find the opposite, pain.
The hardest blow was the last one, Nic. We used to be good friends. I hook him up with my friends. Covering up for the mess he made. We talk and hang out often. He knows the relationsips I had and how it went. I helped him court an acquiantance (it was actually a friend until..) until more than a year has passed and he made no progress with her. Everything conspired for our union. Although, I have accepted that if it is not to be, it is bound to pass. As it happens, we broke up along with the friendship.
He was the last of the 'bf after bf series'. After that, I sworn to take time in choosing. Let my heart rest for a while.
That was sound advice.
Though, I became numb. I've unintentionally hurt a lot of guys. I swear, unintentionally. I just couldn't commit. I gave my heart a chance to beat for a few... but my heart is stubborn -it refuses to obey.
Or maybe it was wise not to settle with someone below par. As we have it in a song, 'It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.'
And I do believe in miracles of waiting. Patience, after all, pays off. That was taught to me during Bigkis days. Of course, I take it by heart.
I took waiting by heart that it became a passion. I felt good and I regained the things I lost due to love. I got acquianted to security, confidence, wisdom, wittiness. Most of all, I found contentment. I never felt lacking -I was a complete person. Needing no one else's assistance. Quite a pompous ass, but all is well.
I've been single for three years. It's quite impressive.
CARBON DATING RESULTS:
LOVE:1982-2003
APATHY: 2003 - 2005
_______ : 2006 (can't carbon date present ryt?)
Love isn't at all foreign to me. I started young. Before graduating gradeschool, I felt it. As expected, it didn't last long. I was pursued again during highschool and it lasted longer than the first one --an almost four years of my puberty. and after that, nothing ever lasted. Loneliness never stayed long in my heart after a break-up. A replacement is just on stand by. Though I love, I was hardly lonely but I never was truly satisfied.
It takes years to understand love and it takes a little bit of everything to get through it. I thought, I should find out myself. I've been foolish. I've been harsh. I've been jealous. I've been insecure. I've been careless. I've felt all that and more in seek of love yet I find the opposite, pain.
The hardest blow was the last one, Nic. We used to be good friends. I hook him up with my friends. Covering up for the mess he made. We talk and hang out often. He knows the relationsips I had and how it went. I helped him court an acquiantance (it was actually a friend until..) until more than a year has passed and he made no progress with her. Everything conspired for our union. Although, I have accepted that if it is not to be, it is bound to pass. As it happens, we broke up along with the friendship.
He was the last of the 'bf after bf series'. After that, I sworn to take time in choosing. Let my heart rest for a while.
That was sound advice.
Though, I became numb. I've unintentionally hurt a lot of guys. I swear, unintentionally. I just couldn't commit. I gave my heart a chance to beat for a few... but my heart is stubborn -it refuses to obey.
Or maybe it was wise not to settle with someone below par. As we have it in a song, 'It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.'
And I do believe in miracles of waiting. Patience, after all, pays off. That was taught to me during Bigkis days. Of course, I take it by heart.
I took waiting by heart that it became a passion. I felt good and I regained the things I lost due to love. I got acquianted to security, confidence, wisdom, wittiness. Most of all, I found contentment. I never felt lacking -I was a complete person. Needing no one else's assistance. Quite a pompous ass, but all is well.
I've been single for three years. It's quite impressive.
CARBON DATING RESULTS:
LOVE:1982-2003
APATHY: 2003 - 2005
_______ : 2006 (can't carbon date present ryt?)
posted by Jasmin | 1:40 PM
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